confused bolt

[Bolt]

I figured out something through a very dear friend today. I chatted with this friend and we found something that both I wasn't giving and W was desperately needing: support.

I decided to throw away my thoughts and hopes and simply support her. Support her as a mother and a friend. Support her to let her know how great a mother she is and that I trust her decisions to be the best for the kids. I said how wonderful a parent she's been in the past and that even though this is extremely tough, I know she'll make the right decisions.

We talked about how much we value our friendship and how much we both miss it. We miss just talking. Just being there. Being friends. I told her it was bad enough losing my family, losing my spouse...but I didn't want to lose my best friend.

Maybe that's all we've been doing lately. Not trying to work on the M and even losing touch with our friendship.

Do I want a divorce? Absolutely not. But I respect my W enough to let her go. To let her have this one thing. I'll always be here for her - not waiting for her because I will move on - but I'll always be here for her. We have a bond that will never be broken even if the vows of marriage are.

and lastly, the question - what does it mean to me to let her go? Well, that shows just how much I DO love her. I love her so much that I will let her go. I think that's pretty selfless - a trait I WANT for myself. And a trait I will work on for myself...

and JTB - that's where I'll be for her when she needs me. WHENEVER she needs me.

For myself, I want to learn to trust again and be selfless and complimentary. So I'm doing that to my W despite the past and despite the current sitch.

I'm doing this for the love of another. For the love of my wife.

Mach, you asked a few questions that I can answer pretty easily.
I will always love her. Maybe not the way that a Husband loves a Wife, but as a person and as someone I've shared half my life with. Nothing, no words, or person can EVER take that away.