And so I begin this journey

[Croppin]

Well 4 weeks ago yesterday I found out about the OW. I'm just now reading DR and feeling much better about myself. Wanted to tell everyone hi and that I'm thankful for finding this site. H and I have been together 28 years, married for 23 with two kids. I firmly believe he is in a MLC because he is saying some pretty ridiculous things such as "people would think I was crazy for just leaving for no reason, that's why the affair is better" when asked why he didn't just leave prior to blowing up all our lives.

The OW is very different than I right down to the nose piercing which he says "yea, that's a minus." This coming from a professional in a conservative occupation. He is thinking of moving into the basement and staying in the home at my invitation. Says it is all up to me because that is what he has always done. Hard emotional decisions have to be made by me. Says D scares the hell out of him, but he will not stop seeing her. We still have one son at home that had been diagnosed with ADD 3 weeks prior to me discovering the affair. So yes, I've been parenting (mostly on my own) an undiagnosed ADD kid for nearly 16 years. It did take it's toll on the relationship. Me feeling unsupported, H feeling ignored apparently.

I'm better now. Took up running losing weight, signed up for 5Ks. After giving my all in compensating for all of the people in my family, it is me time. I don't know if DH is testing me or trying to passively aggressively trying to get me to change or just holding on until OW becomes available (although she can't get a divorce because her mother wouldn't accept it....right).

I'm excited to continue reading DR this evening. So much to think about.