Standing up to the punches

[Redo]

I cannot believe this is the same person who once said that whatever happens we should resolve to keep our marriage and that we should grow old together. What happened to all that???

I just really feel cheated right now. I know there is no OM. But still i feel cheated. I guess it is because i had this blind faith in my wife that she would always be fair as i am with her.

First off the whole divorce filing itself was a blow to me as it came when i was out of the country. I had no clue it was coming. In-fact a week before i left town we checked out schools for daughter for kindergarten and ballet. We also confirmed an appt with her new allergist in Feb-2011. We were actually planning all the details for her B-day which comes in Feb. So when wife calls up on Jan-3rd, the same day on which my grandfather passed away and tells me this new right after i tell her about the death of my grampa, I think i was in shock for several reasons.

One that she had to tell me this now and could not wait later?

What happened to all our plans we had just 1 week ago regarding daughter. Was that all fake?

How was she able to maintain out a calm and normal relationship with me until i left, while all the time behind my back she was actually consulting a lawyer.

I felt incredibly stupid for having trusted my wife that much. I let myself do that because i loved her so and for me she was above suspicion. Somehow my family kept telling me to be wary but i rebuffed them.

Right now my whole world of trust in people has just come crashing down. I guess there is a fine line in loving your wife and being smart and just plain loving your wife.