Standing for my live-in MLC'er/WAS

[angel61]

Update:

The rest of the day H did not call me, unlike the other day. He got home before i did, picked up D, and they both walked the dog. I made sure he understands that he cannot leave D to go to the gym.

I got home, and one look at H showed me that he is internalizing, processing. I kept my distance. WE did not talk about D, but in the eveing, he asked me to go check her.

D did not want company, I went back to our room, but was not comfortable so kept getting up to check on her. She later came in and told me she needed a rosary, as there was none in her room. I gave her one, and she looked up parying the rosary on the internet and prayed a decade. This is the first time she has done that. It is good she is praying, but otherwise, I cannot help but see it as a sign of her inner turmoil.

I ended up sleeping (not sleeping actually, up till 3AM) with D. I was so restles I kept pacing in our house. H woke up once when I was standing by his bed and got irritated at me. I just told him I could not sleep. I tried putting away some of the sharp stuff at home.

In the morning, we talked a little about D. H asked me what the therapist said, if she recommended treatment. I said that they only talked about coping strategies, and that she did not say what we should do except to keep away the sharps in our house and focus on our D. She told me to tell him that while it is true we are struggling too, we should understand that D is a child, and that we have to go beyond our struggles to make sure that she is safe. She is deeply affected by the home situation, and is unstable. She perceives herself as the "mature" one amongst all of us, and that is very inappropriate. This is the age where she is entering the turmoil of teenage years which normally would be mitigated by a stable home life and she does not have that.

I told H that we are grown up adults, educated, and that the therapist does not have to spell it out for us, we should be able to think of what we are to do to handle this.

Left it at that, make him think. I am not going to tell him what to do. I know what I will do.