Just finished reading through your thread and wanted to share a couple of things that have been helping me deal with my insecurities.
The first thing is too be more aware of the words I am using. I'm very careful of using "universals" to describe things, especially the way that I define myself, other people, and the circumstances I am in:
Avoid saying things like:
I am "always" doing this. I am feeling this "all" the time It happens "everywhere." "every" night "every" day with "every" one I have "always" been. He/She/It will "always" be.
Similarly, I don't like to limit things by saying things to myself like:
There is "no chance" There is "no possibility" I "can't do it" I'm "not good enough." It's "too hard".
Instead, I recognize remember that it is the words that I am using that are defining my experience. It is my words that is CREATING the meaning of the experience for me and there is always a choice about the meaning that I give to things.
Knowing this, instead of feeling like I am "in pain", I can consider that I am "doing" pain, and then I can ask myself what for?
Why would I just meanings that make me feel bad unless I feel like I deserve to be in pain?
I know it isn't always easy to rise above the drama, but every time I pause and take a breath to do do, I make myself feel better.
I remember I am confident and have control.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
