I got halfway through your post, and I want to respond before I forget my thoughts, then I'll read your other half...
He is trying to find excuses to leave through you - finding flaws, etc. It is his own fears he can't see and face right now.
I think you need to be in MC together and IC alone. Stop the MC until he can go with you; there's no real point in going alone, and I'm surprised she even took you. We had a lot of bickery first sessions. It takes time. We've been in MC for a long time now and three different therapists! We're finally now getting at stuff.
My boyfriend is hiding in his room, acting selfish, and playing with toys. I think I mentioned here, he just came home with a brand new 2010 FUSCHIA dodge challenger two nights ago. It is STUNNING.
I wish someone can tell these guys to grow up. Right now, I'm trying to detach and enjoy my life and my daughter as best I can.
You've got a long way to go, yes, but it's him that has a long way to go. Or not. It really is going to come down to what he decides - to stay a victim? To stay in his teen fantasy? Or to grow up and be a man and face his fears and meet them with courage.
