After the events of Friday night, the W and kids did their thing and I did mine on Saturday. I did go over to the house after the kids went to bed and the W and I watched a movie and I helped her with her side business. No R talk just time.
The next morning I obtained a goal that I have been trying to meet for several weeks now. I went to church with the family. Afterwards we ran some errands as a family and went back to the house. After lunch W and I sat down and discussed the Yahoo article about saving your marriage. The talk had its ups and downs but it gave us both an idea on what the other was thinking. After the talk we clean out the master bedroom closet and she takes her clothes out of the dresser that used to occupy all of my clothes. I make dinner and put kids to bed and W and I watch tv until time for me to leave. Before I leave we talk about me spending more time around the house.
Monday after work I pick up oldest from school and for the first time since I left I take her home and watch her until W gets there instead of me taking her to my moms. While I'm cooking dinner I get a cal from W asking me if I was home yet. I said I was and after asking why she said she wanted to try and catch me before I get home to see if I would run by fabric store to get her something she needed. I told her I would take daughter out and go to store. We went and I had dinner ready when they got home.
She seemed hesitant to ask me to do this favor but seemed happy that I did it. After dinner, whole family went to a school skating party and had a great time. Went home put kids to bed and W and I started to watch BB. Talked turned to R and it went south. We were not yelling our arguing at all but old memories where brought up in our minds and it caused W to close up a bit. She said that she hadn't thought about the details of how bad things were and it made her feel like she wasn't as over it as she thought she was. She also said that she had reservations about asking me for a favor cause of the last few years I would do the favor but with attitude. She also said half of her wants to tell me to come home and the other half is scared cause she doesn't want things to go back to the way they were. We ended the talk with her saying she was done talking and me excusing myself for the night.
I tried to validate during the convo by saying that in the past I did not see how my actions were hurting her and that by identifying what we went threw it gives me a better understanding and helps to not make same mistakes. I also said that I hope to be able to earn back her trust and I hear what she says about being scared to ask me to come home.
The next morning I got a call from W asking me how I was doing. I told her that I did not want to upset her with the past but feel we need to address it or it will always be right below the surface waiting to explode. She agrees and says she felt bad all last night about the thought that she made me feel bad. I asked her if she would like for me to see if I could make an appointment with a MC to try and work through the past. She said yes and we have our first session Monday.
After work yesterday I picked daughter up again from school and took her to house until dance. Met up with rest of family at dance and W and I had very playful and good us time watching dance. Went to our dinner night afterward and had a perfect dual parenting moment with middle child. She got out of hand, I talked to her, child questioned me, W immediately chimed in to listen to me, child questioned W, I chimed in to listen to W and problem was resolved. It was textbook and was one of biggest problems in past. Was good day.
This morning I got call from W asking if I would go by house and grab something she forgot there and son needed at day care. No reservation in her voice this time, just a W asking a H for a favor. I happily accepted and a little while got a text thanking me for doing it.
So tonight we are pulling back, W will get all of kids and do their thing and W and I will discuss how we will handle this weekend. It is my weekend with kids and I will do things as planned but hope to have some sort of compromise with them at my moms and with them at my house. I feel like we are on right path and hope each time together the W will little by little feel less scared about asking me to come home. She did tell me that she told her mom that we are going to try and work things out and mentioned in conversation that she told the counselor at my kids school the same.
