Just speaking from personal experience, I would suggest you not contact your IL's.

No contact does not necessarily mean they are okay with any of it, but she is their daughter and when push comes to shove....she is the one they have to support. They may not like it or approve, but they may have already discovered that the only thing they can do is try to stay out of it....and they might think by not making contact with you will prevent further problems in their R with her.

It's kind of like when a man has to choose between his W and mother. It's his place to support his W but it's really hard if he doesn't agree with her.

In this case, you are the in-law, and no matter how much they love you and agree with you.....you will always be the SIL. If there is a D in the future, she will still be their daughter.

(hugs)

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!