Thanks for the reply Mr Bond. Ok further background as follows:
I am 47, W is 48, married for 22years, known each other for 25. 3 kids, D19, S17 D13.
Initial bomb drop was by me last July 10 during a bad holiday. The classic ILYBNILWY statement. I was in a bad place back then, strung out on dope and had been for years. I had also not long been made redundant from work & it in hindsight this affected me more than I realised. I ended up in a complete emotional vacuum and i shut myself off, not just from my Wife & family, but friends also.
I left home to work away when we returned from our holiday, to give ME space to try to sort myself out. I did some therapy while away which helped a little and was able to relax a bit. My W took it so so badly at and was a complete wreck during this period but was able to keep this from me for quite a while before she cracked and pleaded with me to come back. I kinda folded at this point and we tried a reconcilliation but for me it was too soon. I was off the dope but my head was still fogged up with that cr*p.
Mid November 2010, my W asked if I wanted to continue trying and I said no, I thought we were finished.
I moved out again and gradually my head got straight aand I began to doubt my decision. I went home at Christmas to see the kids and then the BOMB hit me! That was where I wanted to be, back home.
My W though had 'checked out' of the marriage back in Novemeber and as far as she was/is concerned there is no longer an 'us'. She is now 'single' and enjoying her freedom again. She has gone through the mad blowout stage of drinking, partying, clubbing etc, but has recently calmed down a little.
The BOMB on Sunday came about from me giving an ultimatum the previous week that she had to decide whether there was any future for us ( dumb move or what ) The answer was negative. It didn't help that I snooped on her text messages and found that she was still seeing someone who I found out about a couple of months ago while again snooping ( DUMB dumb DUMB ). She is not serious about this guy, or any other. She does NOT want a relationship with anyone, just some 'fun' but it still hurts like hell.
Thats it guys in all it's gory detail.
ps my ref. to doing a 180 in the first post may be a bit misleading as there is more than version of this. as far as DB is concerned I think I was actually doing the LRT, but not fully 100%
FooFighter999
Me 48 W 49 D19, S17, D14 Together 25yr, Married 22yr Me checked-out July 10, back Sept 10 W checked out Nov 10 Separated Dec 10 ILYBNILWY 2nd Apr 11 We're finished + D bomb 17th Apr 11
