Back from park. Had a blast with kids. Oldest stepson came in last night unexpectedly and I got to have his stepson as well. Had fun at the park and then went for milkshakes.
GS2 was on an expensive riding toy when i went to pick them up, and sure enough, it was from H and OW. It stung for just a bit, I don't have the money to treat my grands to these things, but what I do give them is my time, and I believe in the long run that is much more valuable. OW is going out of her way to impress with expensive gifts. But do the kids know or care where they came from? I refuse to be caught up in a silly competition. My grands love me, and I them, and that is that. OW will lose interest eventually. She has no interest in H's keeping a R with my D's at all. That doesn't seem to bother him, either.
Notice I'm ranting at myself? Pass the aspirin.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
You are absolutely right that your time means more to your grands than 'things'. My children have assured me of this. You give them a bond and connection of family. You share yourself.
There is no way your H, in his present condition, can even begin to compete with that.
Thanks for the reassurance Seeking. It's one of those things you know in your heart, but that little demon on your left shoulder sometimes make you doubt?
I got over it by working my tail off yesterday afternoon. Even though the pond looked so inviting. Mowed, raked, burned, painted another chair, and all that was after 4:30 in the afternoon! Really worked hard so I would sleep heavy. It worked. Plus my yard looks the better for it.
Yesterday marked the one month day until my court date. I had it planned in my mind it was going to be the start of a very sedate period of time.
Instead, D23 called at 6:45 a.m. having a panic attack, couldn't breath, chest hurting. scared. I flew to town in a blinding rainstorm to take her to the ER. She was not happy with the diagnosis. I think she would rather have a heart condition. LOL
Finally got to work, where D25 was called that GS2 was ill at Daycare. Took him to Doctor; now he has influenza type A. Has had both A & B this year, thank God there is no C. Have to remove his Diabetic brother from the home to avoid his getting it and having to be airlifted to Children's Hospital again.
The day finally ended and I went to a friend's b/d party at a local restaurant. Was exhausted by the time I got home. The weather turned all cold and nasty again, so I had to move my plants back in before going to bed last night.
So much for sedate and calm.
BYW, caught a 3 pound Catfish in the pond Sunday. Admired her and let her go. I like to catch them, not to clean them.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
How is your grandson doing? You've had a busy couple of days. I'm right there with you...catching the fish and then releasing them is the way to go. I hate cleaning them.
I hope today finds life a little bit quieter for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Grandsons doing better, thanks. Still running a bit of fever, but looked spunkier today. D23 left msg. on machine this afternoon that she has appt. with Doctor tomorrow for chest X ray. We shall see. She is determined to have a terminal disease. It's the Bipolar-Manic-Drama Queen in her.
Can't help but think how each and every day is a count down to the court date. Have to admit there is a nasty little imp in me that still hopes and prays H will call a halt to it, but I know that no matter how miserable he might be, his pride is far to great to do that. Mildly tempted to get in touch with him, but know that would be wrong. As the pastor said on Sunday, " Be still, and know that I am God." Have to let the big guy handle this one.
Hey Punk, glad your GS is doing better. I am sure your d will be ok, too.
Punkin, you dont really want your h to stop in the middle of the tunnel, now do you? That would not be good.
I know how unnerving the court thing is. I'd like to be able to tell you it's not too bad, but, the truth is, it kinda [censored]. Your h needs to see this through. He thinks he will then be happy. He is in for a big surprise.
You will be ok, P. At the end of the day, the legal part is paperwork. Just be prepared to feel a little bit of everything for awhile after.
Everything you said makes perfect sense, and thank you for saying it. I know a D is just a piece of paper. It's only as important as the importance we attach to it. It's everything to do with choice. And devotion.
I had a long talk with God last night both on my knees and not, with tears streaming down my face ( hasn't happened in a long time) I feel much better this morning. Not that there may not be a few more of those events between now and May 4th.
I know what I have to do. I know how to do it. But first, I have to let go and let God. That's always been a toughie for me; letting go.
I want so much to go through this next few weeks with calmness. To be prepared mentally and physically for what's about to happen. But I am faking the calm. To my family and friends.
Just have to keep praying.
Have a great hump day guys.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
