Sitting at home with myself, part 2

[Denver_2010]

Navy, I am just an old grunt, and this is all just my opinion.

It seems to me she was beginning to relax and you read signals of that. IMO she needs to relax and get comfortable before thinking about making any further progress. She needs to trust. I have not gone back and reviewed your previous posts for specifics.

There were reasons she left and you’ve made changes….180s.

She needs to trust those changes are real and permanent. How much time will be required is unknown. How much patience do you have? We know there is no magic. We know this is a long hard slog over muddy ground.

She needs to perceive coming back is not her sacrifice. Have you reviewed the detachment and emotional boundaries pages referenced in these forums? If not google detachment, look for the livestrong site pages. How can you apply that information?

What else you need to do can only be determined from your interpretation of the information you can gather. Be fact based here, don’t speculate. Change for you; improve yourself to achieve your goals. Do not sacrifice. Do not change for her. The changes will not be real or permanent and you likely will find yourself worse off eventually.

I made that mistake. I changed for her. I sacrificed. Resentment from the sacrifices was a starting factor in creating my sitch. I felt owed and it showed, subtlety at first, ugly later. Do not make one of my mistakes

Bravo JS... Great advice... I needed that as well.

Thank you.

BITS
Denver