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It is hard to go completely dark when you have children.

Think of why you are doing this.

Going dark is for you. It is a boundary to protect you.

It is not to punish, coerce, or expect anything from your W. Except to respect your boundary.

What you got is what she felt was you punishing her when she felt it was a duty of a responsible parent to keep her informed.

I think I might agree.

What did you think her reaction would be?

If she wants to talk to you about anything other than the kids or an absolute emergency then if you need that boundary then stay dark.

How did you communicate this boundary to begin with? I might have missed that from you on here.

Did you tell her you will not be engaging her?

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am