Very good additions. Every situation is different for sure. One thing that really help me was to try to craft it in a way to see things from her side. (not to justify her actions mind you)
Most likely you and your spouse have different ways of seeing things from laundry to parenting. So of course their actions seem foreign to you during this time. God knows I've been guilty of that - "Why can't she just do X,Y & Z? God knows that's what I would do."
We can only do, what we can do.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
