My H left me. He did on March 10. We had just been having some problems, but nothing that was so serious. Noone cheated or anything like that. He does Natural Bodybuidling competitions,I do believe with his show prep with the upcoming show in May he started dieting Jan 1. Things have just snowballed since then. I admit, I have played into his moodiness which isnt good but he has gotten very irriatable and serious 24/7 there was no joking with him and I am not much of a serious person anyways. Last time we spoke he told me he was DONE and he wouldnt be changing his mind. We had grown apart and had nothing in common anymore. I just dont understand for us to not of been married a year yet how we could have grown apart and now have nothing in common.I just dont want to lose him over this petty nonsense of knit picking. But he is so dedicated and is going to WIN this show in May I think that has caused him alot of stress. I am not saying I am perfect by no means, I have a problems showing my affection/emotions and this has caused a problem for us. I also have my own up and downs days and have been to see a counselor to work on myself. But in the grand sceme of things our issues are minor compaired to what they could be. I have asked him to do counseling not necessarily together, but we both do our own then when time is right we can join together. One day he was against it, then couple days later he was for it, then again now he is against it. He came by my work yesterday to pick up mail and I tried to stay strong and not cry and i did good until he was leaving he hugged me and i said that i missed him and started to cry. He just looked at me straight faced and said dont do this. I know crying is not pretty to them but i couldnt help it. Then out with a girl friend last night having dinner and was finally having a good time laughing and trying to enjoy myself to keep my mind off things. Then i get a txt from him that says. Seeing me cry yesterday was so hard on him, i just made him sick, absolutely sick. He said i looked good and he missed me very much. I had slipped in his mail a very nice card and a couple little gifts in them, to show him i do support him and his bodybuilding. He thanked me for the card and gift and said he knew it was heartfelt. Wished be a good weekend. I just replied "Your Welcome, Hope you you enjoy your gifts they were from my heart and I hope he had a good weekend as well" Just dont know how he could walk away from me, something that he loved and cared so much about. Any help or advice would be great. Ive been just beside myself and just dont know what to do.
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
I have not heard anything from him since the last txt on Thursday. I just feel like I'm waiting for that next call or txt and then think well maybe its my turn to initiate the next conversation...help??
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
Well yesterday was a good and bad day. I finally gave in and txt'd my H at around noon. We had bad storms and high winds and just a random txt to make sure he had made it thru the weather. He replied and thought ok, this was good. Then after about 3 txt he quickly turned the conversation on how he went to see an attorney and how much it would cost and just on and on. I said wow, this isnt want I wanted to hear or talk about. he said this was what he wanted and he knew i was going to fight him on it. I said he hasnt even been moved out a month and i didnt understand why he wanted to be over and done with it so quickly. made me thing something else might have been going on, which he assured me nothing like that. So yesterday the conversation was just getting worse until he ended up going to work and having to turn his phone off. I was devistated once again. Then at about 3:45 I get a phone call on my cell while at work from a number I didnt know. I didnt answer and then had a message from his work. I listened to the VM and it was him. He said this is your husband, I want you to know that I love you and there is no denying my love for you and I'm so sorry for acting like a jerk and really want to work on us. He said he couldnt stay at work and he was leaving early. He would call me at around 7pm and please he hoped I answered the phone. I just immediatly broke down and was crying. This is what I had prayed about and had so bad wanted to hear him say those words to me. He ended up coming over last night and we talked and then we were fine. We both know what we can have and are so much in love we were both just being stupid. He said who cares if he seen an attorney, if anything he said that made him see this was something that he DIDNT want. I am just so stund that at lunch all he could talk about was Divorce, so what changed his mind within a few hours??? I did just say everything to him i had to say because at that point what really did i have to loose. I know i probably broke all the rules but i didnt want to regret not saying something that i should had. maybe something i said registered with him. I am so thankful and am looking forward to my husband moving back home soon.
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
It sounds to me like he's been having an affair, and the OW either dumped him, and/or her husband threatened to expose it and now he's doing damage control.
well here I am back again. So my last post was the my H came home. After 4 days of being back at home he LEFT AGAIN! All over an argument about a bandaide. He was just constant trying to pick fights with me and Sunday morning the 10th we were getting ready for church and he was getting his meals prepared for work, running behind as ususal. Then was cleaning up his dishes, cut himself with knife. I ran over to see it and offered to get him bandaide, he yelled and scream about how he didnt want a bandaide finally i wasnt going to argue and sat back down. Two seconds later he comes out of bathroom with bandaide on. Maybe I shouldnt have said, but I said..wouldnt let me get you a bandaide, but you can get it yourself. So from then on he was ticked. Went to church, I was still a little upset and had my feelings hurt. He gets ready to leave for work and I watch him leave. It was a nice day out so I decided to take the dog out of a drive and a walk around the park. He had txt'd me few times about how sorry he was. I was still a little cold cause just cause he says sorry doesnt mean i have to be over it in 5 seconds. so anyways, his last txt was guess i will pack my things and leave. I didnt respond because when he had moved back he said he would never leave again, that it was stupid. Just thought he was trying to get me to beg him and plead. Also it was close to work and i know he has to turn his phone off, so i didnt respond to the last message. Got home few hours later and his stuff was once again GONE! It has been a week and one day I have not heard from him since. Im mad, hurt.....HELP?
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
I don't know anything about body building but is there a chance he could be on some sort of substance like steroids? He sounds very all over the place as far as his anger and emotions.
It sounds like he doesn't know what the heck he wants. I wouldn't let him back into your home unless he seems serious about saving your marriage, and agrees to some sort of counseling. The back and fourth is awful.
I suggest IC for yourself as well.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I dont believe he is using steroids because he compeits in all natural bodybuilding. But through alot of my research I have done online there are some supplements out there that can give you the same effects as the steriods, which he takes all kinds of supplements. We had 4 cabinets full of them. Your right he is very all over the place. I understand that getting ready for a show takes lots of dedication but is that "trophy" worth loosing your marriage?? He has deleted and blacked me from his FB page but we still have a few mutual friends and they have told me from the looks of his comments on FB "life is good"! Its like out of sight, out of mind for him. I said yes, "life is good" cause he walked away from all his responsiblities. I got left with our new house we just moved into back in November, which I cant afford by myself and all the other household bills. He also had gotten a lil puppy and guess who has that? ME! Which I wouldnt give her up for anything its just the point. How do you just walk away from everything that you cared so deeply about at one point?? He will not come back to house, because I cannot keep putting myself thru the highs and lows. Its making me feel like I'm the crazy one. I have been doing counseling myself, been going on a weekly basis.
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
Had really bad storms where I live last night. Tornados went thru no damage to my house. But would have thought that, maybe I might have gotten a phone call or txt just checking on house, me or dog.....NOTHING! What a jerk, just so ticked off, how can someone be so cold???
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
Feeling very hurt and angry this morning. We had very bad storms roll thru the last couple of nights and had been without power for a day. Would have thought that I would have at least gotten a txt or phone call to see if there was any damage to house(since his name still on it), if the dog and I were ok. But I got nothing! I guess I dont think I should have expected anything, just shows me how insensative he really is. This weekend is also going to be a hard one from me. Tomorrow would be our 1 year anniversay and is also his birthday. Feeling really sad.
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
well the weekend of our Anniversary and his birthday past with nothing. I was determined to keep busy and NOT contact him and of course I get nothing either. I just feel so in the dark as to what to do. Its like everynight when I get home and check the mail, I'm looking for paper from an attorney. This is not what i want but then i think that I dont deserve to be treated this way, why would i want someone like that back in my life that at the first sign of trouble, his 1st reaction is to *walk* nothing said, just gone. How do i know what we need to work on and fix it i dont even get a chance to know WHY????
W 37 H 34 No Children Married 04/23/2010 Together Since 11/2009 Seperated 03/10/2011 Not Yet Filed/Kind of expecting them anyday.
