Take The Long Way Home...

[Redo]

I'm not a WAS, but I have given this a lot of thought for some reason. I'm beginning to suspect I had the beginnings of an MLC last year.

There is no one answer to these questions.

Why do some women come back while others move on why?
I think some it has to do with upbringing, idea of commitment, some of it is kids. But I think some come back because they really never stopped loving the LBS, but just had to find it. some see that the grass they thought was greener wasn't really before it's too late. I'd bet a fair number of WAS have a lot of regret years later.

Why once they make up their mind that it is over, is there no turning back? Part of it is human nature. Its hard to admit you made a mistake an this is a HUGE mistake. So they convince themselves this is the right decision, at all costs. they convince themselves this is the only way out and the only way to solve the problems in their life. This is something they can control. My W said to me, "I may not know what the future holds, but I don't have to put up with you everyday."
I think friends and family have something to do with it. It'd be easier to turn back if you had people supporting that or easier not to if you had people supporting your decision to walk away.

Why do they not like to acknowledge our changes? I think many do acknowledge the change, but it's a case of to little too late. Mostly too late. let's be honest. Most of us only made changes in response to the bomb. In fact, many of us thought things were just peachy while our spouse were seriously hurting. Someone said it best yesterday It's extremely rare that someone walks away from a healthy, fulfilling M. It seems so transparent. I leave - you make changes. If I come back will those changes stay. We promise they will and we actually believe ourselves too.
But also to acknowledge the change would fly in the face of their decision to continue to WA.

Why so some of them seem to have so much anger and a total unwillingness to forgive? Remember some of them have carried anger for years and years. Some were crying out for help for years and years and they were ignored by the person they thought would loved them forever. That'd probably make most of us a little angry. In most cases, these problems did not just show up over night and many her have admitted to being less that good spouses. Are they honestly, just supposed to forgive and forget after a few months?

How can they go from being the most caring people in the world to the coldest? The reach a breaking point and up goes the wall. I think honestly many don't give a crap because heck for years you didn't, why should they now?

Cold hard truths. All good ones.

But i just wish that WAS at-least think of these things.

1: If you have spent some years together as spouses, I think as humans we develop attachments so deep that are hard to just throw away. I wish a WAS spends some time thinking that sometimes it is better if more time is spent on figuring out how to make each other happy rather than making each other miserable and destroying a potential happy family in the process. Yup, the LBS has made choices that led to this point. Maybe the WAS needs to logically test the LBS out for a while to see if the changes are true.