Just wanted to let you know I've been following your posts.
You said "Wife tells me everytime that she worried so much about me before she left as to how i would manage myself."
I know this is difficult; however, she seems to be watching you to see how you respond to all this. So much of this DBing seems to be "managing" ourselves. Could you make a list of things you can do to help with this. I got good advice from others when I started here - things like: IC, one good friend to talk to, journaling, hobbies, reading, church, exercise, and the like. it all helps.
"But she said she had to leave as she felt that marriage was getting 'toxic' and she could not see me ruin myself with my depression."
Are you getting help for this? Over a year ago I was in IC and started some AD medication for anxiety - a very low level (I actually split these little pills) - however, it did help me...actually what it did was make it possible for me to work (manage) the other things. I was already exercising so much me kness were giving out on the treadmill - that helps with D too.
I was worried that W would see this as weakness - maybe she does. You don't have to tell her BTW - sorta wish I hadn't. I figure, who wouldn't need somehelp in our situations.
