Standing for my live-in MLC'er/WAS

[angel61]

I think our D's issues made H peek through the fog.

Yesterday, he called me 4x from work. Not to talk about D but just to sort of touch base, tell me he was going to be late, and for me to pick up our daughter.

When we got home, he asked me about our D, and I told him I had gotten in touch with the therapist. So we talked about what I learned, I gave him a printout about cutting. Thanks to everyone's advice; I was able to talk very objectively, not once did I point out his role in what is happening to our daughter; I figure he knows it. I explained that D should not be left alone for now; that is something he does when he is with her - he goes to the gym and leaves her at home by herself.

This morning, he was talking to me about it again; he even expressed regret that we have only 1 child; thinking that if D had a sibling she'd feel less alone.

H's demeanor has undergone a subtle change, even towards me. I feel him settling again, more peaceful inspite of the upheaval about our D.

This morning I woke up a bit early and left D sleeping and went over to our bed. I lay down beside him and snuggled a little as it was cold. He woke up and in a soft voice, he talked about his upcoming busy day for a bit, and did not move away until the alarm went off 15 mins. later... My temperature check says "warm".

I am now feeling more peaceful, less freaked out. I will go ahead and will make sure our D will be taken cared off, I have always been in charge of health issues of our D anyway, but I am glad that H is not that wrapped up with himself not to care enough. I know there will be times he will be immersed once more in his self issues, hopefully I will be learning more and more not to react.

Thanks again everyone for the support. The advice was lifesaving. Had I gone ahead and given him the letter, instead of us being close today, it would have been full of recriminations.