I know it's hard to see from where you are, but you have come so far. Don't give up now. I know how you feel, just at the end of January my H was coming home and now, he doesn't contact me or our D14. Two days later after he was discussing coming home and how he had 7 months left on his lease I told him we can take it slow and he could still live in the apartment or we would figure something out. I got the text (I guess after he told his family) the D will not be put on hold, the house is to be sold, it's over!
I have no clue to what happened. But you are speaking to your wife, and spending time with her. I really think you are right, she is just afraid at this moment. I saw it in my H's face, he wanted to come home but didn't and he claims he didn't say things that he has said to me and D14. I don't know if they don't remember or they lie to themselves as far as your W not remembering.
I think they do things out of anger also. She said she filed for D, well mine did too, it was 2 years ago in January and thank God, it hasn't gone through yet. It should have gone through within a few months but he never pushed it again until this past Nov., when he was angry again about having to pay spousal support since he dropped me from his medical benefits. He thought he would not have to pay anything for my medical anymore and that would be it, but he was wrong so his lawyer brought up the D. I really believe they think to themselves that if I D so and so I will feel better, but it's not true and you and I both know that.....
I hope you are doing better. I wish I would get some advice from some more people on the boards too, but nothing. Anyway, I can't do anything since H has changed his number and has not contacted us since the middle of Feb. To top it off our D14 will be receiving Confirmation on the 30th and I don't know what to do. Do I send an invite? Does D14 write him a short note asking him to come? She wants him there so much, but she ended up telling him off for the first time like I posted on my thread when he called intoxicated and was yelling at her. But she held in her anger and hurt for so long and her C said she needed to tell him how she felt and to stop taking it out on me.
So she tells him through a voice mail and he never called back or anything. I'm really afraid with this NC, because it was H that did it and his family for some reason wants nothing to do with me, but I was the best thing that happened to him 15 years ago. They are blaming me because H didn't speak to them for over 12 years, and I had nothing to do with it but I guess he must have blamed me when he started talking to them again.
Sorry for venting on your thread, but listen...you are in contact and are GAL and they are positives Jon. I know how you feel, because I guess I'm DBusting all over again too. This is so hard. I just pray and pray, and that's all I can do, I have no way of contacting him except by mail and I won't do that except if people on the board tell me to invite him to D14's Confirmation.
