I've started to write this post so many times but never seem to get down what I really want to say and how I really feel.
I have been separated from my wife for 4 months now, and for the last 3 I've been desperatly trying to get her back. Our situation during this time has gone from her hating me, being so so angry with me and talking about getting a quick divorce to now being as close as we have ever been in probably our whole marriage. But on Sunday she dropped the BOMB - albeit I think pressurised by me - that she is still not in love with me and doesn't ever see that she will be again. Through these last 3 months I have used what I suppose you may call, a 'cut down' version of the 180 and in most respects it has worked quite well. My big failings, if you can call them that, is that I have continued to tell her that I love her, and have been quite generous with gifts, complements and 'nice' things. I have also agreed on occasion to go back home to fix her car and stuff that you would expect a 'husband only' to do. I have mostly been successful in not instigating any communications between us and have tried to look after myself as best I can to create a more positive image of myself. Current circumstances though do make the last bit more difficult. I have never begged, pleaded or grovelled and have not instigated talk of our relationship issues although she has and we will engage in deep conversations long into the night with about how I was, her trust issues with me, how I have changed, why I was like I was, etc etc. Ther have been a couple of occasions during this period that she has literally been a hairs breadth away from re-committing to our relationship but at the last minute and upon reflection has backed off again. These times have been soul destroying believe me. A week or so ago I kinda got a little impatient and said that she really needed to think about whether we had a future together and sundays BOMB was the result. Now I feel like I did 3 months ago, back to square one, and not coping with anything particularly well. Just need someone to try to straighten me out a little and to point me in the right direction for the next couple of months. I am still not happy with the content of this post but I hope that someone will maybe ask a few questions that will allow me to maybe fill in the blanks
Thanks for reading FooFighter
Me 48 W 49 D19, S17, D14 Together 25yr, Married 22yr Me checked-out July 10, back Sept 10 W checked out Nov 10 Separated Dec 10 ILYBNILWY 2nd Apr 11 We're finished + D bomb 17th Apr 11
