Had a lovely 2 games of scrabble and a bottle of wine together. I was messed in the head, cried on her and asked if we could share her bed for a "last time." She said of course yes we could share a bed, but why was it "the last time." I said because we've broken up, everything like that is therefore a last time. She cried at that.
I haven't packed anymore boxes. She asked me yesterday after we had dinner together if I wanted to share her bed again. I did. She stroked my arm this morning as she woke, and kissed me on the forehead before she left. It felt good. We are going to first counselling tomorrow lunchtime and I am petrified. I feel like although it will give me somekind of closure, it could also seriously spell the end of us, and I will have to move out and move on as quickly as possible.
I am just such a whirlwind of emotion and actions, despite my best efforts at self control, which I usually have a lot of.
Guess I'll just wait and see.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
