I'm still grappling with the idea that just a few days ago, we were getting along fine. Now, I feel she hates me more than ever. I know it's not my job to understand why but it gets more painful each day.

I do see that when I don't talk to her, I'm more at peace...I can't help thinking of my kids...

I DO want off this coaster but I think (right now) the only way off is to have my old life back - and I KNOW that's not possible. That's the pain right now...

m 40
w 38
married 15
together 18
d11, d8
bomb 12/19/10
2nd bomb 3/30/11
COMPLETELY DONE