It's Time To Rock; Part II

[♪CS♪]

However I disagree with the above quote, at least when there's an ACTIVE affair going on with the spouse who's walking away. Affairs are HIGHLY addictive, and I'm sorry, I do not feel that "in most cases," it's merely a matter of "logistics" that has changed with the cheating spouse. Most of the cases I've observed on this and other forums, there is some REALLY crappy parenting going on, and the person engaged in the affair really does stop putting their kids first the way they used to. There's a strong "entitlement" streak that runs thru adulterous relationships, and a "Hey, this is MY turn now; I deserve to have some fun!" self-centeredness that is way-too-prevalent.

If there is no OM/OW, then I agree with the quote above.

Starsky

Hi Starsky,

What did you P off the wrong person and get put back on moderation? This post wasn’t here when I replied before.

Anyways, this is also an interesting point. The thing is, I cannot observe her with our D to know how much has really changed in her parenting. I have a hard time believing she is not being a good mother in most ways, I know she does still care about our D very much. With all of that said, I have noticed things. Small things, but still, signs that she does not put our D first like she did before her A. These are just a couple of things that happened recently:

Even though our D was not feeling well, she was not planning on picking her up early from daycare until I said something. I KNOW, that before this, she would have been all over it. She would have picked her up as early as she possibly could have. Now…

Same day, after picking her up she did not stop by the house and pick up her medicine. Said “she’s fine.” Did she do this because she wanted to rush back to be with OM. Is it due to an uncomforting feeling of being in our home? I have no idea. But I do know that it was a strange decision. It surprised me when I heard it. Well, low and behold, D gets sick again that night and I end up rushing her medicine over to her (I now regret that decision, but I felt I was doing what was best for our D).

Little things like this I notice. While like I said, I believe she is still a good mom, there is just something different there. Before the A she always put D first. Now I just see her not being quite as committed as she was before. It is just so sad to see.