well, my wife asked me to send her an email outlining my thoughts on co-habitation. I thought about what to say and below please read what i sent her. I felt i had to be honest to her about why i am entertaining this idea. It might backfire, but my hope is that it wont.
EMAIL I SENT HER
The most obvious is that you are not interested in working on our marriage, therefore all contracts and agreements are still in force.
Financially, I would like you to pay the gas bill and the hot water tank monthly and contribute to groceries. The big one for you would be that you are not allowed to have your boyfriend etc at the house at any time. This is not a landlord/tenant agreement. This is for our children’s well being and so we don’t lose everything we have built in the last 10 years.
As for your work, we will have to work out arrangements for me to drive you too work. I can either pick you up in the morning or you can go to your boyfriends house and he can drive you home etc. Whether it would be a tank of gas a month or something, I’m sure we can figure it out.
If you ever get your license back we will have to make arrangements for you to pay insurance etc. for the blazer as the Grand Prix is now my work vehicle.
We will have to sit down and discuss parenting methods in the house to be used on a daily basis. My thought were that on Your visitation times, you would take care of the kids and I would do so the rest of the time. We cannot in any way shape or form argue ever in front of the kids. If one of us has a problem with what the other is doing, we need to talk calmly about it and outside of the home. I will tell you that on the days, I am responsible for the children, you have no obligations to participate with the family, but I welcome you to do so and will not exclude you.
One note, my home is smoke and drug free this includes my vehicles and my garage, so you will have to smoke outside and smoke pot elsewhere.
Please think about what you hope to accomplish out of this arrangement. If you can emotionally detach yourself to handle the situation. My reasoning behind this is to provide my children with both parents on a daily basis. That means sacrifice from me and you to make sure they have the best environment we can provide. I will tell you this, just cause I am resigning myself to this arrangement does not change my opinion that I do want our marriage. I will not confront you or invade your personal space in any way shape or form unless invited to do so, but it is only honest that I tell you I hope that one day we can fix our differences and reconcile them.
That all being said, if your still interested in seeing if this is a viable option for you, then mark down your questions and might I request a time from you that we can sit down for coffee in a couple of weeks. Preferably not in the morning after you have worked all night. Mid day or afternoon on one of your days off. END OF EMAIL
So please read this and post if i am on track here or if you think i am totally crazy with this idea.
