this is a weird thing for us because of last year. Prior to last year, I think it was case of I was never really satisfied (the the exception of when we were procreating) and so I basically followed her lead. but often times it would lead to fights, etc. I was very poor at asking for it too. I would complain of her not initiating as well.
So early year. We had a sex talk. Basically we said that we are grown ups and when I want to see if she's interested, I ask for it in a direct way. That way I was clear in my needs and it gave her some say in things.
Midway through last year, she said my judgment about sex was screwed up b/c of my issues, so she said that she would only be the one to initiate. That worked out well.
And our Sex life was NEVER better- the quantity, quality, everything. Plus my W dropped about 15 lbs and was pretty confident in her looks.
Looking back, I can't help but wonder if some of the increase was due to the OM/EA, as much as it pains me to say it. I mean it was clear there was a physical attraction component to the EA. Plus he was making her feel good about herself. Her libido was off the charts.
Then in November, we hit the D patch. December, she cuts off most contact with OM. Needless to say Nov - March was a very dry time.
So we start up again. I'm worried we will never go back to that increased phase for lots of reasons, but some of it has to do with the fact that we've knows each other for nearly 20 years. And we we each others' firsts and only. I know I have to get over that.
But we are just starting this ML process again and it's too early to see where it will go. I like what you said about making it not an obligation.
Anywho we reached a compromise which is that we will take turns initiating for now. (her idea) We will have to trust each other on this.
As for last night, I was kinda upset, but not b/c of the sex. We tried to make Sunday our night to spend significant time together. We didn't and went straight to the bedroom. I felt shortchanged on our night, but if I said anything to her I'd get "We had sex dude, what do you want?"
but I think of all the other stuff she's really working on. I can't complain. It's sill only about 6 weeks since we've started the physical aspect.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
