It's Time To Rock; Part II

[♪CS♪]

You're right PEI, focusing on the "right or wrong" does not help us move forward, and is not productive to our own personal growth. I have been focusing too much on it, it is out of my control. I need to get back to focusing on what I do control.

The LBS usually has a very hard time dealing with the difference between the WAS leaving the marriage and the now altered parental relationship. In most cases, the WAS has not LEFT the children, just changed the relationship as a result of the logistics of leaving the marriage.

I guess the “just” part is what I disagree with here. I know that from the WAS’s perspective they are only leaving the M and not the children. I know my W does care very much for our D. It just isn’t a “just” though. The hard facts are that this new relationship means not being there for your child when they need you. It means giving up time with your child so they can have that time with OP. It means robbing the child of a 2 parent household.

I know, there I go again. That reality is hard for me to accept. It is hard for me to imagine how they justify this is their minds. But, back to above. Out of my control. I know, mustn’t dwell on it.

... if/when that happens ... who is CS now? What kind of partner is he? What's changed?

A much calmer person is the first thing that comes to mind. A person who finally accepts his demons. While far from conquered, committed to doing so. A person who appreciates the good in life in a whole new way, and isn’t committed to only focusing on the negatives (I know, wouldn’t know it from my post above, but day to day is much better). A person who would put his family above everything else. A person who would be committed to not only loving, but making sure the love is communicated in the way she understands.

I have a long way to go however. I have my path drawn, but there is still a long road ahead needed to be walked. But I am still committed to doing so.