The LBS usually has a very hard time dealing with the difference between the WAS leaving the marriage and the now altered parental relationship. In most cases, the WAS has not LEFT the children, just changed the relationship as a result of the logistics of leaving the marriage.
Hi PEI,
I agree with most of what you said in your two posts above. It's very easy for a LBS to get into "woe-is-me," and into self-righteousness, and lose sight of their own contributions to the dysfunction in the marriage.
However I disagree with the above quote, at least when there's an ACTIVE affair going on with the spouse who's walking away. Affairs are HIGHLY addictive, and I'm sorry, I do not feel that "in most cases," it's merely a matter of "logistics" that has changed with the cheating spouse. Most of the cases I've observed on this and other forums, there is some REALLY crappy parenting going on, and the person engaged in the affair really does stop putting their kids first the way they used to. There's a strong "entitlement" streak that runs thru adulterous relationships, and a "Hey, this is MY turn now; I deserve to have some fun!" self-centeredness that is way-too-prevalent.
If there is no OM/OW, then I agree with the quote above.
