I am almost finished with it and I just started reading it today. I know what my LL is, and I am pretty sure I know what my H's is also. I just hope I get the chance to discuss it with him someday.
Today has been the first day in 7 weeks that I haven't been scared about the future. I think that is a pretty significant step for me. I still had my moment when I break down and cry, but compared to how I was when he left 7 weeks ago I am so much stronger. And I have learned a lot more about myself, and I'm excited to continue learning.
I used to think that it was impossible for people to change. Well, I surprise myself sometimes. I can tell I am changing. I feel different. I look at life differently. I appreciate things more. I appreciate the people that I do have in my life more, and I don't feel guilty about detaching from the ones who bring me down.
Even the difference from the beginning of this thread to now, it's different.
I don't know what the future holds for me, but I do know that with all the people who do love me, I will never be alone. I may have done some pretty sh!tty things in my past when I was in a darker place, but I am moving past it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It is very, very dim right now, but I can see enough of it to know that it's there.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I am not that familiar with your sitch, but I like your attitude. I need to get back where I was, it was closet where you are, but I have gotten way off track. I to want to vet to a place where I can explore our LL, but that is a distant dream right now.
Keep staying positive.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
This morning I was extremely sad when I woke up. The tears wouldn't stop falling. I just wish my H & I could find our way back to one another. I know he doesn't want a D-at least right now but I don't feel like we are close to reconciling either. I know I need to be patient, and I am trying my best to be, but this really [censored]. If he could just tell me that he wants me, he wants our marriage but he just isn't ready to come home yet, it would mean more than anything in the world.
I find comfort in his words. He tells me he loves me, he misses me, but then why won't he come home?
I'm just sad. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
DG...You can do DB for as long as you have love for him. But again, this is the time you need to focus on you. Work on your changes so that they can be permanent when he does come home. Are you doing you GAL??
Keep it up DG...GALing will really help take your mind of things as well. Maybe we could grab a bunch of people one night and do a Skype call (can that do multiple people?). We can call it the DB party line! LOL
DG, keep working on the GAL. I think it takes a little time to build some momentum, at least that was my experience. I didn't think my W even noticed (not that I was only trying to make her notice - I was doing it for myself - I will continue doing all this stuff, too, regardless of how this turns out in the end). Then one day, she starts acting very curious, and has been for the last couple of weeks.
So - give it some time. I really think with your pulling back and working on GAL, your H is going to begin to take notice. In other words, IMHO I think you're on the right track.
It's really hard for him to notice when we are living in separate households right now and most of our communication is via text.
I guess I am confused and unsure what to do. On one hand I'm supposed to think positive and envision a life with my H, correct? But then I am supposed to pull back, GAL and act like I'm moving on without him. Can you see where my confusion lies?
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I think it makes it harder because you don't have kids together. However, he is texting you - and that's a good sign.
You do the GAL for YOU. You act like the you are moving on with OR without him.
Since you are living in separate households, it may actually be to your advantage. The next time he sees you, your changes are going to make a bigger splash because he not just seeing subtle changes here and there.
