I decided to switch things up today. I sent her an email this morning to tell her that when she showed me how to use the sprinkler system, I never put it back to off and it was on when I left this morning. The ground was good and soaked for the rain that is coming today. I told her that I just had to laugh and thought she would get a kick out of it.
I did this because I haven't contacted her first for anything of unimportance. I guess I just don't want her to think SHE is the only one initiating contact about nothing. This is not going to be a habit, just something to let her know I care too.
Her L told me on Thursday that the papers would be ready on Friday. It is now Monday and nothing from him yet. I know they are coming but I am just hoping to not see them. Maybe she put a hold on it for now....regardless, I am prepared if/when they come.
Well, she responded, telling me that there was something of mine in all of the things I gave her this weekend. She said her daughter was supposed to bring it home to me last night but she didn't have her purse. So my W has it with her and asked if I can drop by her work to pick it up. I guess I get to see my W again for a couple of minutes. I get to show my best self again!
So, I just went to see her. She wasn't in her office so I sat on the couch. I heard her say "Hey there" in her sweet country accent. I looked at her and smiled and followed her to her office. She gave it to me and we talked for a minute. Then I looked at her and said, I am going back to the office now. Have a great day. She said the same. As I was walking to my car, I text her to say that I forgot to say thank you.
She responded when I got back to my office. She "no problem, U looked stressed. R U ok?" I responded that I am not stressed at all and that I am feeling really good and that it might be the workout's I'm doing. I alos said she looked really good. She said "Thank U. Maybe u are uncomfortable around me. I don't want to hurt u". I responded with "Not at all. I really enjoyed your visit on Saturday too. I don't know why I might have looked stressed". No response from her yet.
First off, I hate it that I looked like that. I was nervous about seeing her and thought I looked good when I saw her. I smiled and was cheerfull. But this IS my W. She know me. I just hate the text part of "I don't want to hurt you". That just makes me feel like I am still on the first step. I know that I am, it just shucks.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. She is going to continue to see the new me in all emails, texts, or face to face. I will go back to my semi dark place where I only respond to her. I have realized that when I do respond, I need to make sure I am not short and that she can see I am happy. Now, I need to put this out of my head and go on with my day.
Really wierd...One of my wife's friends called me (I thinkshe was drunk) and was asking me about one of my friends on FB. I told her that he was married and she told me they went to prom together. She then tells me the guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with is moving in with another woman. That led to her asking about my W and crying because she is having a tough time with us divorcing. I really appreciate it that my W's friends hate that we are divorcing. IT really does help me. It seems most of her friends feel this way. Anyways. I just got finished with my Power 90 workout. I'm going to bed now. Love you all!
So..here I thought maybe she put a hold on the D. No, she sends me a message asking if I've turned in the D papers to her lawyer yet. Obviously, she doesn't talk to her L. She asked me what was needed changed since everthing I wanted was in there (yeah right). I told her she needed to talk to her L. She is SO selfish right now. It is NOT attractive at all.
She is SO selfish right now. It is NOT attractive at all. Right on man. Everytime my wife talks about the D issues, it seems like she is being very selfish. Wife keeps on telling me how much she is letting go in this divorce when in fact she is getting exactly all she needs.
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
I don't know if I am now having a bad day or what...Part of me is done with my W. I'm just trying to figure out if it's more then 50% of me. I think the next cry I have over her will be the last. Right now, she doesn't deserve the new me.
