Standing up to the punches

[Redo]

In had been an interesting weekend...

Wife calls up saturday morning to talk about daughter. Then she asks me how i was doing now that my parents have gone. I told her i am doing okay and somehow we got into this relationship talk for about 1 minute. During that time i mentioned that i am reading some books and figured out lots of things. Then we hung up

Phone comes in afternoon but i dont pick it up. Then she alls evening again. I pick up. Wife wanted to know what i figured out after all that reading. I just told her how i felt that i did not take care as she deserved to be taken care of. How i did not act like a man and always let my inner child control me out. How i could have been better etc. She then told me how she's been trying to deal with her stuff. But later in conversation she tells me that she does not want me to be by myself alone. She wanted me to remarry. I asked her about her remarrying. She said her friends suggested her to do it, but she wants to concentrate on career and studies right now. Then we hung up.

I don't know. Wife tells me everytime that she worried so much about me before she left as to how i would manage myself. But she said she had to leave as she felt that marriage was getting 'toxic' and she could not see me ruin myself with my depression. That she did not know how long she had to wait before i got better. She tells me she cares for me, but she leaves me.

One of my dad's friends who knows about us tells me that it is better for both of us to get divorced because he thought that i would never be able to go against my wife's decisions and always end up saying yes to her. Then i would make myself miserable. She would hate it and then we would be back at square one. He thinks people just cannot change some fundamental qualities that they are born with and in my case this would always create problems. He's old fashioned. But what he said did have a some truth to it. I am pining for my wife all the time and using DB principles i feel that i can affect some positive change in my wife. But what if that does not work??

My mind is going crazy with all these thoughts. BITs if you have any feedback, i'd love to hear it.