One thing I wanted to add is that given her age and difficulty she is having with friends etc., you need to accept that this is no ones fault and it could have happened regardless of the dynamic between you and your H.
It isn't your fault either. You may have to dig deep to forgive yourself and your H so that you can help her.
Believe me when I say that I know you want it to be b/c of H's actions. That would make it easier wouldn't it? It would feel like there was an easy solution. Let me share a favorite quote with you:
"For every complex problem there is a simple solution... and it is wrong."
-H.L. Mencken
Always? Who knows. I sure don't. It's a favorite b/c it has turned out to be so true in my life.
This is the evidence that she doesn't have (yet) the coping skills for some of life's messes.
