confused bolt

[Bolt]

Guys, I feel like I'm going at a million miles an hour here.
She's become this beast now. I can't even talk to her without her going insane on me. I'm remaining calm but there are certain things I need from her or her to do. I don't know what is up with my car insurance since the accident. I have no idea where things are in this town - a town she grew up in and has my kids.

She's pressuring me to sign papers - papers she doesn't even have! She said this morning, if you said you don't love me, why are you prolonging this?

When she first dropped this major bomb the other day, I was lashing out. I said I haven't loved her either. I was truly hurting and said a lot of things I wish I didn't but I was way too emotional. I thought I was fighting for my life.

Now that I've calmed down a bit (not much) I can think a little more clearly. EVERYONE is saying let her go but I just can't. I can't for my family alone. I feel we can work through it but want to for the family.

She's just become so unreasonable its crazy. I'm now getting blamed for things my kids say. They say things to me like, why is it only 1 of us 4 want a divorce? I reply, it only takes one adult to want this. That's it! My child says that to W and she blames ME for it! I really don't know what to do - not talk to my kids?!

My oldest said she wants to stay with me. I'm the better parent. I'm around more. What the hell do I say to that? If that gets back to W I KNOW she'll blame me and that can hurt the proceedings for sure. She thinks she's this wonderful mother when in essence she's not AND she's only going to get worse. She feels she has to sow her oats (a thought that makes me want to throw up) - so how can she raise 2 kids?

you ask what I've done for myself? I don't have time for myself. I have work I have to do and am doing it slowly. This is way to all-consuming for me...