I also think that your h is doing transference of his feelings onto you. Because at some leve he knows he is the betrayer, he is transferring his negative feelings to you.
As I think I have posted, my h blamed me for the failure of his r with OW, because I didn't stop loving him, and she found this too threatening. They still have a relationship but apparently it isn't the same! [Or wasn't when we last spoke 9 months ago]
They love to play the martyr to justify their horrible behaviour.
What I find worrying is their total failure to emotionally change and develop. Like you, my xh has been in full MLC for almost 6 years [with what I now see were clear signs for another 2-3 years]. I know MLC is said to take a long time but some of them seem to get very stuck
