Can you tell us a bit about your W's childhood? Many times a MLC is rooted in something that happened in childhood or early teens. Many times children don't have the tools to deal with these situations and therefore the issue(s) aren't dealt with at all. Unfortunately, they do come back to haunt them, generally in mid-life when we tend to question ourselves about the life we've lived so far and knowing there isn't all the time in the world left.
The MLCer starts acting like a teenager and tries to turn back the clock and renegotiate that time they didn't get successfully through the first time around.
Usually the LBS can pinpoint a possible trigger that sets the MLCer off. I commend you for recognizing your EA before it went any further. You paid a very high price for that though and that combined could have triggered the MLC in your W.
I sure can. Her mom and dad were divorced when she was 11 - the same age my oldest is. They had an amicable divorce bc they simply just didn't want to be married.
She has told me in the past that she feels she missed out on something in life. She always did the right thing in HS and college. Always had a plan and never got to just be. We got married right after she graduated college so she never really got to live on her own.
She has told me that she feels controlled by me when in reality, not a single decision in our life has been made without very careful consideration on both parts.
I'm sure the EA did trigger this. I feel awful for that but do believe now that it would have happened anyway.
Thanks for the little ray of hope right now. I certainly need it bc most times, I feel none.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
