MLC Purgatory

[punkin]

Meganna,

STOP! Slow Down! Breath! I know the 'not knowing' is excruciating, but you can't put the cart before the horse on these things.

IMHO, you should never put a 'time line' like saying 6 months on these things. Your and his perception of that six month date may be totally different, and may in fact impede any progress that might be made. No, that's not a 2 x 4. Just my POV. In many ways you sound like me. I like to have a plan. Think it through and stick to it. One of the things I realized about myself is my lack of spontaneity in many areas. And for our type of personalities, the working on it day to day suks.

Yes, having to work full time and putting the kids in Day Care would be a change for them, but not a life damaging one. All my kids were raised in DayCare while I worked for a living, both married and not. They are tough, and would survive. No, it's not what we may want, but maybe what we have to work with.

No more crying in front of H, okay? The guilt trip thing is a dead end and will only push them away further and faster when they are not equipped to deal.

If my advice is worth anything, and I'm not saying it is, but i think you need some more pracice detaching, and give yourself some time to 'go dark'. Not seeing the H's hurts, but sometimes the being away gives you the chance to heal. In the wise words of Brooklyn, "get to gettin". Get A Life for yourself, not as Mrs. anybody, or anybody's mother, but for yourself. Then tie a knot at the end of the rope and hang on.