MHL, Cas, CW, Sanderika, and Seeking, your kind words of wisdom really helped to calm me before the funeral yesterday. I am indebted to you all.
Mila, on Wednesday you posted just before I wrote my reply to everyone, so I wanted to make sure to thank you for your supportive words. I always appreciate your responses.
MHL, thanks for your reminder to just relax and enjoy TT with Mr. GAG and X-SIL. That helped to focus me. X-SIL was pretty good at TT for a beginner. Last night I gave X-SIL my first TT paddle and a TT ball wrapped as a gift. She said she has been looking for a sport that she and her H can play together and thinks this might be a possibility because he plays tennis.
Cas, Seeking, Cadet, Punkin, and Sanderika, thank you for celebrating with me that things went better than expected yesterday AND for reminding me to have NO EXPECTATIONS at this point. I need that reminder right now. I'm trying to figure out if I should email XH tomorrow after his sister flies out to offer to do something with him tomorrow evening if he likes. For 30 years he has had dinner with his mother on sunday evenings (although in the last year I think he switched that to monday evenings) and may be feeling lonely then.
Originally Posted By: seeking answers
There is something I'm curious about. XH told you that he told BMF that he wanted to be alone. Did BMF just come over anyway?
Seeking, you are very astute to note this. BMF and X-SIL drove plants and everything else from the chapel to XH's house. XH had to run an important errand and joined them at the house about 30 minutes later. X-SIL said that XH walked in, told them both he wanted to be alone, and went upstairs. She said he'd done that a couple times earlier in the week. After a few minutes BMF went upstairs and stayed there until just before I left (2 1/2 hours). X-SIL thought that was very weird. I think it is very weird because BMF had a terrible R with his mother and I couldn't imagine him comforting XH..............One insight I think I've gained from this whole scenario is that the only thing that would keep BMF from interfering in XH's future R's is if XH could see through him enough to set boundaries. It's been hard for me not to give BMF headspace, but I probably need to be focusing more on becoming the best GAG ever.......for myself and whomever I share my life with in the future.
Originally Posted By: Sanderika
I think he knows exactly how much you mean to him and he is going to make sure that he doesn't push you out of his life again. You will be seeing a lot more of Mr. GAG.
I think the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, in that 2 people close to him (his sister and long-time female friend) know that I still care deeply for XH. Not great DB'ing but I think my actions have been saying this for a long time so probably not much of a surprise. XH has also reached out to me more in the past week than in the previous several months. Not sure if he'll pull back a lot this time because he will be lonely without all of his visits to his mother's place.
