Take The Long Way Home...

[FellOnBlackDays]

True, thank you. I read your posts and the advice you got and it is sound. I will use this information as I move forward.

BITS, I promised you some details on her visit the other night so here it is. As usual, this will be one of FOBD's 10-page novels, so get comfortable...

She arrived. I let her in. I could tell something was wrong. She didn't smile when I opened the door. As I opened the door, she blew past me into the house. We went into the den and she plopped down on the sofa as if she was going to stay for a time. I was happy. We made small talk about family and friends and watch TV together for 40 minutes or so. At one point, she began laughing about something and it was the first time I had heard her laughter in our home in months. I almost broke down right there.

But, the longer we sat there, the more nervous I became. I realized what was going on. For years, when she wanted to deliver bad news this is what she would do. Just sit next to me for a long period trying to act happy, but it is so fact you can smell it. So, she finally whips out her Iphone and starts going over the list of things she wants from the house. There is not much left. I know that, she knows that. She went through the list and nothing was a surprise. But, at the end, I knew it was the end. My w has collected numerous antique Xmas items over the years. I attic is almost full of this stuff. I knew that would be the final straw and it was. She stated that at 830pm at night, she wanted me to crawl into the attic and start pulling this stuff down. I was tired, it was late, and so I asked her to wait. She got angry. She started ranting about how this needs to be over.

I was calm. I let her speak and then I turned to her and reminded her that she still has not given me the few things I have asked for repeatedly. This is when things go interesting. She became very aggravated and acted as though she knew nothing of what I was talking about. As I began to remind her, she threw herself back into couch cushions and folder her arms. She then proceeded to inform me that she had NO intention of giving me any of the stuff I asked for. She then informs me that her agreement in the past to give me my stuff was just a ploy to buy time and she NEVER intended to give me what I wanted. She then informed me that was the way that it was and there was nothing I could do about it.

At this point, I was speechless and she was getting more and more angry. She then stated that since we had opened up this wound, she would proceed with what she really came for. A divorce. I was floored. Here is some of the conversation:

W: Look, it's been six months, be real. This is over and I want to move on with my life.

M: What is the rush?

W: It's been six months!!!! I was through with us when I was living here. What in the hell don't you understand. I don't love you. I don't want to be married to you. I want this over. I want to move on. I am tired of this hanging over my head. I need to be free of all of this.

(Big mistake on my part here)
M: Well, since it is over, will you at least be honest with me. It seems to me that there is something pushing you harder than before. Is there someone else?

W: I don't have to tell you that. That is none of your f*cking business any longer. What I do is no concern of yours. You can go f*ck whoever you want, I don't care.

M: Well, I guess I just got my answer. Thank you.

W: Oh, so no answer is an admission of guilt? You don't know. Just drop it. Look, I have wanted a D for months. I only held off because I didn't want to ruin your brother's wedding. Now, that is out of the way. So, how do you want to do this? I have researched some stuff on the internet. We can do this ourselves without an A. I want to that. Well, what do you want to do.

M: (name), I am just heard this news 10 seconds ago. Give me a minute.

W: You had to know this was coming. So, what are we going to do. I need to know now. Tonight. I want this over.

M: (at this point, I was seething and could barely breath. Everything in my body wanted to lash out and destroy, but I didn't because I stayed true to me and my DB principles.) Wife, I think it best that you leave. Right now.

W: What? What about the stuff I came for? I am not leaving without it.

M: Wife, I think it best that you leave, please.

She stormed for the door. I stopped her, turned her around and said the following: "If this is what you want, this is what you will get. But I need a couple of days to process this and decide how to proceed." She suddenly begins to smile and says, "Thank you" and storms out. I have never seen someone go from nice-to bitch-back to nice so quickly. It was awful. She is so sick in the head, it is not even funny.

I didn't know what to do next. So, I called my family and informed them it was over. No one was really that surprised, but all were very supportive and loving.

A few minutes later, I went to bed. I realized I had a whole new world facing me in the morning.

I will start a new thread with part 2.

FOBD