mykarma, yep, I wish I'd learned this earlier too! Early in my M or even before. I guess we learn it when we HAVE to....which would be now for me.
Harrier - I bet this helped you stay strong and focused as you put your M back together.
I once described it to someone by drawing a picture, shading in all the space AROUND an outline of me, which was empty. Erase the stuff around "me" and I sort of disappeared. That's how I felt a couple of years ago.
I've made little steps. Back then the thought of losing my M brought me pure panic, like my core just shut down. Now I can at least stay upright and think my way through situations. My W seems to sense the difference - I'm not depending on her for reassurance, nor am I as afraid of confrontations. It's a REALLY good feeling.....at least I figured it out now, even if I'm a slow learner! Makes me want to keep building in this. My karma, you're five years ahead of me on this.
By the way I have 3 sons and you can BET they'll understand this before they leave home so they don't have to go through this like I (we) do......
