So I've been trying to figure out a way to keep our home rather than selling it. So we finally worked out the details. I just needed to find out few details on the loan. Meanwhile daughter has started her kindergarten. I cannot believe that the day has come and gone like that. I planned so much for the day when we would put our lil angel in kindergarten. I would take the day off, take lots of photos and videos and after she finished the day, we would take her out to chuck-e-cheese and celebrate!... And now this...
If you can keep your house and afford it under the circumstances, that is a huge boost in your "attractiveness factor".
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All the time when i saw, hear or come across people facing big life issues (death, disease etc), I prayed and hoped that i would not be on that boat. Now that i am, sometimes it still feels like a lucid dream. That, from which i'll wake up one day.
I hear you on this man, but do try to remind yourself constantly that things can always be worse. Would you trade your situation for that of someone who has suffered the loss of family, or for compromised health? I see the news about Japan and I just feel so grateful for the safety of my family. I am not trying to minimize your suffering (I know it really feels bad), but if you can really get your head around it, it might help you to feel less down about things.
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Just the hard thing i've been having from 2 days is my purpose now. Somehow i always needed a purpose. Before it was my family, my daughter, her future etc. These were my purposes. Now i don't know what to do with my day. Why am i doing what i am doing. For what?? Everywhere i go, i feel like a failure. One who has failed in life, failed in keeping his family together. It hurts a lot in my community because indians rarely get divorced.
You have made the nice guy mistake of tying your value as a person to your family. Some men do the same with their career, then when it falls apart they feel like they can't go on. The challenge is in learning to find yourself inherently valuable, and not needing to depend on perceived success or failure to feel that way.
Unfortunately our partners are highly tuned to detect such dependency, and it is a big turn-off. It is even worse if you express it verbally on a regular basis.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
