In the mean time have you made a list of the positives? Try to add to it daily. Post it where you will read it.
If you begin to focus on negatives, list them on a seperate sheet and destroy it as soon as possible in a manner significant to you. I burn mine while focussing on letting them go.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
DG..why do this to yourself? Do you like feeling this way? Stop going to FB if you can't help but look at his profile. Concentrate ONLY on what YOU can CONTROL. That is you! Until you really want to change yourself, and I mean REALLY want to change, you won't.
Again, keep coming to us. We are here for you. I believe in you and know you can do this.
DG, I think you have had some positives over the last couple of weeks. He did come and see you in the hospital. Your interactions with him have been pleasant. It looks like your texts you have received have been good as well. It sounds like you have a great network of friends.
Keep looking for that thing, too, that will put that extra spring in your step. Perhaps it something you used to enjoy. Let your H catch you at your best.
You start with baby steps. Figure out the things you need to change. Then you figure out how you can change them. Then you figure out how you can KEEP them changed. It sounds easy, but we know it isn't. Start with the FB. You will NOT check his profile anymore. If you get the urge, turn off your computer or put your phone down.
Well, I specifically told my friends tonight who are also friends on FB that under no circumstances are they to tell me anything about what he posts or who he is talking to. Even if I beg them, they need to tell me NO. We are not friends on FB, but he "pokes" me all the time and I am going to ignore them.
I made a list of things that I want to change as well as the specific steps that I am going to take to change them. I'm going to have to focus on one at a time, because I want to make sure I do this right. For me.
Tonight my S and I stopped at the pet store and they had the most adorable female Basset Hound puppy. They are my absolute favorite breed of dog and it took all my power to walk away and not bring her home with me. Part of the reason is my H, I know he doesn't want a dog and while we are separated, D isn't being considered right now and I can't make a decision like that without talking with him. So although tempting, I resisted. Oh how I keep thinking about her though!
Here is my 180 list so far:
STOP BEING SO INSECURE! -stop checking phone records -when I get the urge I will tell myself "You are worth more than this" -Practice positive self talk -stop looking at his FB -don't ask friends/family what he has posted -practice positive self talk.
-HAVE A MORE POSITIVE ATTITUDE -when I have a negative thought, I will stop myself by saying "How is this helping me?" -when I start feeling anxious or worried, I will pray to God for guidance -start going to church -No chasing, pursuing, or I love you -remind myself that he knows all of these things - continue with counseling for myself - find things to do that I enjoy that make me feel good about myself
I have also started a list on the positive things about me. That one is going to take more time.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
