Looking for BITS. I'm OnMyWay

[OnMyWay]

Just reading over on Sparks14 sitch about his W's anger:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2144231&page=3

Made me think about my WAW. I've noticed she's been attacking/provoking me much more, and I'm such a big dumb idiot, I fall for it. Perhaps this is some sort of sub-conscious thing on her part: she pushes my buttons (which she has all of a sudden become very good at) to get a negative reaction from me which, then, validates her decision to leave?

What do you think?

Even if that's not the case (as what she thinks is her problem, really), if I believe this to be the case, I may use it to my advantage to help me stay "centered," a tool which has eluded me; my big problem is keeping control of my anger when she's coming at me. But, if I feel it is her "gaming me" or at least I assume it is, then I will have a better understanding and won't be such a push-over next time it happens.

Can anyone elaborate more on WAS's "anger" stage?

Also, I really need some thoughts on sex. WAW and I have, somehow, remained somewhat sexually active during all this. She comes on to me, we do our thing, and she leaves. Later I get a text message, her obviously feeling guilty as she "doesn't want to send mixed messages." I usually just shrug this off and let her know I enjoyed it, but that it was "no big deal and that she shouldn't be concerned." I'm not sure if this is positive or not, as most DBers don't seem to have that type of R with the WAS after the walkaway. Mine continues come back for more, yet is always reminding me that our marriage is over and she just can't see it ever being good enough again. I'm kind of tempted to, next time, to get her to stay the night just to see how she handles that the next day.

I feel as if I'm in uncharted DBing territory here, as this isn't really part of the curriculum. DB Coach seems to think it is ok, as it is at least a connection. It is like she is testing the waters in a positive way, but later will test in the negative. I just wish she would make up her mind and pick one. I know which one I'd pick. LOL. My main concern, however, would be a false sense of reality on her part. I have been very clear that I do NOT want her coming back with out us having a plan to deal with many of the issues that cause her to WAW to begin with. Our old marriage is dead. I didn't want it to end, but I also do not want to go back to it now that it is over, period.

Ah yes, all the fun of a WAS. I love her to pieces, but want to strangle her at the same time! LOL. This may sound crass, but at least I'm getting laid from time-to-time. ;-)