If anyone is interested read "Codependent No More"
Very interesting. After the initial bomb when I found out my W was having an EA, she went to C a few times on her own. This is the book the C recommended to her. TBH, I don't know if she ever even read it. She had made up her mind by then.
In my sitch, W comes from a good home with no big issues. However, she became a rebellious teenager and when I met her she was on meds for OCD. I don’t know if she was ever actually full OCD, but she had some issues.
I definitively came in to our R as the “rescuer.” This was even talked about when S hit the fan. While I was also a rebellious teen, I was the ‘control’ guy. I “set her straight” as she says. She said after all of the years, she changed. She began to see my “rescuing” as controlling. She no longer needed it, and grew to hate it. She didn’t need to be “set straight” any longer.
So in many ways, my sitch is similar. It all sounds like a bunch of HS to me right now though…
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
