I hope I don't offend anyone too badly up there ^^^ BUT ... WTF? IMO discussion about whether or not this may or maybe not be good for the relationship is really misplaced. FTR, it would probably be the relationship's proverbial nail in the coffin. Your resentment levels would be nothing compared to the resentment your H would feel for not being able to do what he felt he needed etc.
This is about your son. Period. And NO, moving back in together would not be best for him at this stage ... if this is hard, imagine how hard a "fake" reconcilliation and then eventual break-up would be on him?
Try the book that gr8 is recommending. It doesn't have to be this painful for him, there are strategies and tools to help him through. Most important though is your ability to deal and respond to the ever-unfolding situation with strength and grace and honor. Teaching our children that life goes on, and that we can move forward held high even when it's hard, even when life doesn't go the way we expected is a gift to them.
(((hugs))) PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
