The "new woman" syndrome piece was interesting above. It also seems to have some parallels to my W. Her "new woman" friend would be her recently divorced sister.
Sounds like you are implementing the LRT fairly well. I am also implementing the LRT, but our friendship is still pretty strong and I am working to build on that. She is usually not cold or angry with me unless I show signs of dragging my feet on the divorce she adamantly wants. I have made myself a lot less available to her. I am working pretty hard on my GAL.
Sounds like in your case, it makes a lot of sense to go at least dim. I did notice you are sleeping in the same bed - would changing that give her more space? My W moved out of the bedroom on bomb night. I don't think I'd worry too much about the avoiding the small talk - it sounds like you are reducing it anyway.
I would also say to continue to work on your GAL. It's a great start to bond with your kids. If you can do some more things just for you, maybe even out of character for the way you are acting now, it can only help your competition with her fantasy.
