I'd forgotten how much of a rollercoaster all this is.

We just had a minor chat about the practicalities of living together as housemates. She said "I'm only 80% sure it's completely over."

I've been friendly all day, offered to pick her up when her car wasn't ready from MOT, and offered her a lift to her party as she's late.

She just gave me a huge hug and big smile and said "thank you for just being you"

Well 20% hope and I've obviously managed to hide all the ridiculous whirlpool of feelings inside me. Was crying only 15 mins before she arrived.

Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.