It seems that all our WAS's have past issues like depression, divorce, abandonment, mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, family problems, broken homes etc etc.
The LBS's who are men often entered their R as a rescurer or knight in shining armor and the ones who are women as a nurterer or mother figure.
Any LBS here married to a "normal" person that wants to walk away?
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
My WAW has had depression issues. Seems to have started when our S was born. She's on medication, but I've heard it's a very low dose. She also has admitted she is having spritual issues right now as well.
So - no - I am NOT one of the LBSs married to a "normal" person who wants to walk away.
WAS, depressed, abandonment issues from childhood, emotional issues from something in adolescence, ran away from home estranged from mother and father since 18.
LBS, rescuer/knight, the relationship eventually became codependent.
Now WAS has run away from this R. Claims LBS treated her just like M & F she ran from 30 yrs ago.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
My W comes from a broken home. Her dad walked out of her life for 10 years when she was 8. Not to mention the way her mother treated her after her parents D.
When we first started dating, she always would say to me that she felt safe in my arms. She wanted someone to take care of her, because she has always been the caretaker.
I wish that I would have done a better job of doing my part in taking care of her.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
This is not the case for my WAS. He was raised in a good home with loving parents. Yes he was depressed but I was due to how badly I treated him and broke him down.
I am the one from a broken home, insecure, fear of abandonment, etc.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
That reminds me another trend I notice on here. I see a lot of WAS married and/or had kids really young. (a lot of exceptions though)
I guess that would mesh with your theory as well.
For me, my W came from a good home with solid upbringing. My parents were divorced, but I still had a solid upbringing myself.
I believe her upbringing had a lot to do with her deciding not to be a WAW after feeling like she wanted to walk. That's why I think it's important for the kids to see that example.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
Assuming I understand all the abbreviations.... My wife is ready to leave. Still have no idea how much she is lying or deceiving...
We both come from normal homes, no divorce, abuse, moving around, financial difficulties, or anything else. Pretty much as normal and solid foundation as it gets.
Now after 14 yrs and 2 kids of mostly great times, she wants her freedom and to live on her own how she wants to live. Basically everything but me and being married. Only thing preventing "the end" is I am doing LRT and sitting in limbo.
