Making Changes

[stayingstrong]

Just want to put stuff down, as it feels good to get my feelings out at times.

So, since our meeting with our MC, (last Wed) we have not really conversed about our situation, but we certainly don't act like we are married either. It is more of a roommate situation right now. We both go back to the MC next week for individual meetings, and I will probably set some time up with my coach, Jody, as well.

Last night was a pretty good night overall. We played with the kids, made fun of eachother a little bit, and overall it was a good night. Except, a stupid defense mechanism that I am trying to work on came out. I was coming down stairs, and she mentions "I see you've been reading my Shape magazine" (which I hadn't been, she just left it out the night before) and for whatever reason my instand words came out in defense of myself. "No I wasn't!!". And I defended myself like I just watched p*rn on tv or cheated on my wife. This is one of her big issues with me. She would rather have me be playful and joke back with her, and say something funny. Instead, I got defensive, and curled up into a damn ball. It is certainly a trait I am not proud of, and trait our MC caught on to in our first visit, as well as Jody. I vow to work on this, and get better. It is something that has always bothered me, and probably goes back to my childhood I am sure.