Why do you think you are so paralyzed at this time? Why do you think your wife willing to be in limbo?
This is EXACTLY the type of situation the DB Coaches excel at. Some therapists are very good at this too, some make it worse.
Your words "I am finding it harder and harder to cope" concern me. You really do need to keep a professional involved. No one here can give you expert advice, although we are here to support you. I think you should get this help SOONER rather than later.
The most important thing is to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being, you're worth it. If you need to talk to someone immediately:
