New thread-old one locked

[JustStunned]

LS2D, I hate FB. I believe it and the connections W made on FB contributed to my sitch. After she ran away, I lurked on “our” FB page that W had co-opted as her personal page. She didn’t change the log in for days after leaving, and guessing her new password was easy. Doing so was not constructive for me. It tore me up badly. This is one of the reasons for not snooping.

That said I have a FB page now. Sadly it is how I will communicate my GAL activities, and how well I am doing to mutual friends and family. W and I are very dark, but I am confident she’ll hear it through the grapevine.

There are several schools of thought about what to do when the spouse moves out. Mine ran away while I was at work. Yes, ran away, I am not being snarky. She repeated a behavior from her late adolescence.

So I just had to deal with the mess and aftermath emotions. Both were substantial. The dog was present for the chaos and was traumatized.

If he is leaving don’t try to prevent it physically. You cannot control him.

One opinion is help. Pack up his stuff in boxes and hand them to him. I could not have done this in January. I would not be able to do this in a friendly manner now.

Another opinion is act as if. Don’t help or hinder. Act as if you don’t care he is making the biggest mistake of his life because you’ve already detached and are prepared to move on. This is more appealing to me now, but I probably would have taken the dog for a very long walk to save him and me the anxiety.

You have to make the choice. Whatever you decide, be in contol. JMO based on what I perceive from your posts I think removing yourself from his ability to button push would be wise. Remove yourself from the chaos and drama. Make him deal with it himself.