My heart goes out to you. MWD has some great advice and techniques to keep a marriage together if that is what you want to do. It sounds like you want to accept what he is saying and move on with your life.
However, don't let his words hurt you. It is quite common for someone to "rewrite history" so they can intelectually justify their current situation. I expect that is what your husband is doing. He is trying to justify why he has fallen out of love with you rather than deal with it and/or work on falling back in love with you.
Sometimes when so much damage has been done to a relationship, it is easier to just move on, however 21 years was a long time and hopefully some of it was happy times.
Good luck to you and thanks for the update. I hope that during your separation you have been working on getting a life!
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
