Lookin' Back

[ninelives]

Harrier, I think you are right to some degree that Anger is there about the situation. Having an A is no way to solve problems but there is some understanding on how W got there for many of thess LBS.

I am angry at both participants. In my sitch, I have hard evidence that OM tried this on 3 other ladies in our small town but My W chooses to ignore these. Thats only part of the issue, the thing I have to deal with more is that My wife's heart did not belong to me anymore when she had and is having this affair , now realtionship. She was done with me in her heart and it was now available for someone else.

That is the most important issue to deal with. If somehow, she feels that this was a mistake down the road, only then can we solve our m problems and try again. I have to show her I am the better option, which I am.

But if she doesnt "feel it" and despite her head knowing what is the right choice, her heart still does not belong to me and is not available at this point in time. Will it ever? IDK, All I can do is work on myself, Forgive the affair if she comes back and get on with the very difficult part of PIECING.
Last time, I let her come back way to easy and as a result, she never really did come back.

I will not make that mistake again, one way or another.

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